First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes baby in the baby carriage… and then there’s real lie.
Scene: A bar where Jane Doe and John Doe (not related) are on a date.
Jane: Do you like animals?
John: Yes, big dog lover. I have a rescue named Scout. You?
Jane: Yes, a yorkie named Trixie.
John: Trixie doesn’t have her own Instagram account, does she?
Jane: (laughing) No and rest assured she has never been carried in my purse.
John: It’s a big responsibility having a dog, but worth it.
Jane: I know, I had to rearrange my schedule and even move to a new apartment that allows pets.
John: A real commitment, right.
Jane: So, commitment doesn’t scare you?
John: Not if it’s the right person at the right time where we have a shared vision.
Jane: And do you want kids?
John: Yes, I do.
Jane: Every time you have sex?
John: Excuse me?
Jane: Would you be prepared to father a child and support it every time you had sex?
John: No of course not.
Jane: Well, you’re a numbers guy, right John? In finance? I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you are good in bed and have sex say three times a week. That would be 156 times a year say over a course of twelve years until you get married which is 1,872 and let’s just say that you would ultimately want two kids which would leave 1,870 times it was not your intention to father a child.
John: Have you maybe had one too many skinny vanilla lattes today?
Jane: Just think about it, seriously.
John: Well, that’s what birth control is for.
Jane: Exactly right but not infallible.
John: True.
Jane: So if I concede say one immaculate conception, that means a man is involved every time a woman gets pregnant.
John: Um, right.
Jane: So in this debate on overturning Roe V. Wade you do have skin in the game, literally. And there is no more “don’t blame me because the rabbit done died,” because paternity tests are standard. You could be on the line to at least financially support the child for 18 years.
John: You know that happened to a friend of mine, the girl said she was on the pill but lied. She trapped him.
Jane: So was there like a supply chain problem with Trojans? They were totally out on the Upper East Side?
John: You know guys don’t like the sensation. It’s like eating a January tomato.
Jane: I get it but this is a lot more serious than a Burrata Salad.
John: I understand that but it’s really a women’s issue. The guy doesn’t have a vote on what she chooses to do.
Jane: True it is her body, so can you imagine the nightmare if she didn’t have a say in having a child either? I keep wondering has no one seen “The Handmaid’s Tale”?
John: I am more of an “Ozark” guy myself.
Jane: Look I love men really…. Well, most of them… Or at least on Fridays. And think about how far we have come in the past years on understanding consent in terms of how important it is for women to give consent for sex. But now I see all these men saying women should not have to consent to giving birth, even after rape.
John: It does seem kind of weird to see a bunch of men who look like they haven’t had sex since sideburns were in style making the decisions for women.
Jane: And I’m sure there are women that you care about, maybe even me if I can win over Scout. Don’t you want us to be safe and sound? And in those 1,870 times you have sex do you want to put someone you care about at risk of emotional and financial distress, jail, or even death?
John: No, of course not.
Jane: And that when you are ready, in those two times you do choose, you are prepared and joyous to bring the miracle of a child into the world and be fully present to give it the best life possible?
John: You know my dad really wasn’t around which was hard on us and made it hell on my mom. I want to be a great dad… When I choose.
Jane: So, will you stand with us? Lobby with us? March with us?
John: Yes, and I even think I know where from the other side I can get a bunch of “My Body My Choice” signs.
