Last month, one of my best friends visited the East End from LA. We were so excited to reunite after Covid that we went a little overboard. We sipped grower champagne, did a vertical tasting of white burgundy and savored an effervescent rosé from the Basque region. We paired all this with cheese from Cavaniola’s that was marbled with truffles and lots of crackers, olives, and cornichons. I drank more alcohol in one sitting than I have in years. It was all so fun … until it wasn’t. I woke up in the middle of the night with a throbbing headache, heart palpitations, and crushing anxiety. As I laid in bed, I painfully examined every dumb decision I’d ever made in my life. I got up several times to make sure both of my children were breathing. I chastised myself for being an awful mother, a terrible writer and all-around repugnant human being who never responds to emails on time. It was one of the longest nights of my life. The next morning was only marginally better.
When did I become someone who couldn’t handle a few — okay several — glasses of wine without shattering into a million pieces? I can remember many a Hamptons weekend a couple of years – okay maybe decades – ago when I could guzzle wine and wake up feeling careless and free – ready to go for a long run in the woods of Amagansett and then hit the beach. In fact, many of my fondest Hamptons memories — whether dancing on tables at the Star Room, singing along to Nancy Atlas at the Talkhouse, or watching the sun set at East Hampton Point or Navy Beach — involve a libation of some sort.
As we emerge from over a year of social isolation, is it possible to socialize and imbibe freely without crippling anxiety the next day? What if you’re newly in your 40s or have surpassed that mile-marker? Can we have a heatlhy-(ish) relationship with alcohol as we get older? Can we age … and still rage?
I turned to some experts to help me navigate a summer where rosé poolside feels like a perfectly acceptable breakfast beverage, and it’s easy to get swept away in the cocktail current.
“Overall, physiologically, we just become more sensitive to alcohol and its effects as we age,” said Alexa Fishback, MS RD. “In our twenties, our bodies are efficient at breaking down alcohol. A night of drinking is easy (enough) to recover from. However, as we age — it takes longer to break down alcohol in the body, so it stays in the bloodstream longer — causing a more pronounced hangover. The reasons are dynamic — from changes in your body composition (less lean muscle, more fat), changes in liver function, and changes in brain sensitivity. Also many Americans take medication as they age, which doesn’t mix with a night of imbibing.”
Alexa recommends eating three healthy, wholesome meals on a “drinking day” – each with a bit of fat, protein, and fiber to slow alcohol absorption. “Think Greek yogurt layered with nuts and berries for breakfast, salad with double protein — chickpeas and grilled chicken with some good fat from avocado and olive oil vinaigrette for lunch, and salmon and lentils for dinner.”
Okay, so cheese with crackers and olives is not on her list of wholesome meals. Noted.
Another tip from Alexa’s arsenal? “Make a plan and stick to it,” she advises. “Decide to enjoy one to two alcoholic beverages guilt-free and then move to Pellegrino with lime thereafter. Also, drink a full glass of water for every alcoholic beverage you consume, alternating as you go.”
I love this, because it allows for some guilt-free sipping. My problem with this, is once I’ve had the two guilt-free glasses of wine, I have trouble remembering why I thought I needed a moderation plan in the first place! Many of us drink to turn off our minds. We don’t want to drink mindfully. But infusing our drinking with mindfulness — much like infusing tequila with jalapeño! — might help us wake up to the present moment and slow down. It can also help us recall the last time we overdid it … and the excruciating morning that followed.
If you do over-imbibe, Alexa recommends dealing with the pain by rehydrating with water or even better some raw coconut water that has natural electrolytes. “Before you go to bed, you can try a ‘drinking vitamin,’” she says. “You really want electrolyte tablets for rehydration, taken with ample water. Also, before you go to bed, eat an apple or a banana — it helps.” She also advises sweating it out through exercise the day after.
Her final bit of advice? “Try socializing both ways — with and without alcohol — and be mindful of your relationship with drinking. Is it healthy to relax and giggle with friends — or are you overdoing it and making bad decisions with bad consequences? It’s a relationship that needs managing as we age, and the do’s and don’t’s are different for every individual.”
As I grow older and realize I need to tap the breaks on my wine consumption, one thing I’ve loved is meeting friends during the week for brisk beach walks instead of cocktails. Walking, like alcohol, is a catalyst for conversation and disclosure. It’s a great way to catch up with a friend while getting outdoors, revving up your heart rate a bit and taking in the jaw-dropping beauty that surrounds us on the East End. That way, even if you stop for a glass of wine post-walk, you’ve reduced your time drinking and also done something good for your body.
Because … the whole point of drinking with friends is to relax and enjoy ourselves, right? I don’t know about you, but soul-crushing anxiety isn’t on my Top Ten List of Enjoyable Mind States. I’m not saying I’m ready to trade in my rosé for Sprindrift, but I need to add some beach walks, electrolytes and a cap on my bar tab to my summer cocktail.
