As Executive Director of The Retreat in East Hampton, Cate Carbonaro leads the only domestic violence shelter in Suffolk County. This shelter provides safety, advocacy, and hope for survivors of abuse. With a career in law, education, and nonprofit leadership, Carbonaro has focused her work on fighting for justice for survivors of domestic violence, sexual assault, and trafficking. Before joining The Retreat, she was the Director of the William Randolph Hearst Public Advocacy Center at Touro Law School. There, she collaborated with public interest organizations to improve access to justice for vulnerable communities. As a dedicated advocate, she continues to support The Retreat’s mission by expanding services, providing community education, and maintaining a strong commitment to safety and empowerment
How does The Retreat manage the demand for shelter and services with such a limited capacity?
This is a great question, particularly since, unfortunately, there is always a significant need when it comes to assisting survivors of domestic violence. Our team at the shelter is terrific. On a daily basis, they manage the incoming requests and maximize the use of the space we have. We triage every request with a trauma-informed, safety-first lens. This ensures that we are focused on helping those in urgent need of assistance. When our shelter is full, we work closely with a network of trusted partner organizations to help find safe placements. In the meantime, we continue providing essential life-saving services like counseling, legal advocacy, and safety planning. Our 24/7 hotline and bilingual staff ensure that every call for help is answered and every survivor receives support.
What immediate steps are you focusing on to expand both the shelter and vital services?
It’s true that there is always a growing need for emergency shelter facilities, as well as crucial services. Meeting this need is always an area of focus for us as an organization. Part of our strategic planning process for The Retreat, as we look to the future, is to address the demand for these services and explore creative and sustainable ways to grow. Of course, as we all know, that requires resources, and this is a particularly challenging time to ascertain those resources. We are actively pursuing funding and partnerships to expand our emergency shelter capacity, while also building out long-term housing options that provide survivors with more stability. At the same time, we are strengthening our prevention programs, legal services, and human trafficking response across both Suffolk and Nassau Counties. The closure of the Safe Center in Nassau has left critical gaps in care, and we are in early conversations with partners to help fill those gaps and support the community.
How are you bringing your legal expertise into your role, and what impact do you hope this will have?
The need for legal support as it relates to domestic violence is often underestimated and misunderstood. My legal background shapes how both I and the organization approach advocacy, policy, and program design. I have spent years representing survivors who were also criminalized, and I understand the nuance and complexity of those cases. As an organization, we also understand the needs of survivors. Being a public interest lawyer means being an advocate, and that is one of the greatest skills that I bring to this role. Working together with our stakeholders, I am focused on expanding legal services, identifying systemic gaps in protection, and ensuring our staff are well-supported in doing this high-stakes work.
How are you working to expand counseling, legal services, and education, and what is the future vision?
I can’t emphasize enough the strength of the team of professionals working at The Retreat. This is difficult, emotionally intense work, and requires substantial commitment and dedication. We meet frequently to assess the needs and look critically at what areas need attention. Keep in mind that an organization like ours depends on fundraising to support our efforts. We often have to set priorities based on the most critical areas of need, in light of the funding that is available. But we are constantly expanding through targeted grant funding, strategic partnerships, and deeper outreach into underserved communities. We are hiring more bilingual and culturally responsive staff, growing our legal team, and expanding our education programs for families and youth. The long-term vision is a coordinated, holistic model that meets survivors where they are and grows with their needs.
How can the community help with beds, funding, and donations?
The Retreat depends on the generosity of our community, and the community has never let us down. There are so many ways to help. Community members can become monthly donors, sponsor a room in the shelter, or host donation drives for essential items like clothing, toiletries, toys, and bedding. No donation is too small, and no contribution is without value. Every contribution helps us meet someone in crisis with safety and dignity.
What unique challenges do criminalized survivors face, and how does The Retreat respond?
This is a serious issue. Criminalized survivors often face stigma, housing instability, and legal consequences that stem from surviving abuse. Many have been failed by systems that were supposed to protect them. At The Retreat, we meet people without judgment. We offer legal advocacy, trauma-informed counseling, and case management that is rooted in dignity and compassion. We understand the complexity of their experience and provide support that centers their humanity.
How does The Retreat encourage survivors to come forward and ensure they feel safe doing so?
This issue is more important now than ever. We focus on building trust in every interaction, so that survivors know we can support them in the most difficult of times. We partner with schools, hospitals, courts, and community organizations so that survivors can find us in familiar and safe spaces. Our services are free, confidential, and survivor-centered. Whether it is a flyer, a conversation, or a hotline call, we work to make sure survivors feel seen, believed, and safe.
How does The Retreat balance immediate crisis response with long-term recovery?
Safety and privacy are paramount in dealing with issues of domestic violence. We support survivors through every stage of their journey, beginning with our very first interaction, which is oftentimes the most important. Our model includes crisis intervention, emergency shelter, long-term counseling, legal advocacy, case management, and prevention education. Importantly, we stay with survivors through the tough transitions, and community support helps us sustain that long-term care.
What has been the most rewarding part of your transition to The Retreat? Any stories that stand out?
While I have only been with the Retreat for a short time, I have been witnessing the resilience of our clients and the deep dedication of our staff. One of our Board members, who is also a survivor, recently shared a story that has stayed with me. She told me that while her time at the shelter was incredibly difficult, her children look back on it with joy, not fear. They remember feeling safe, supported, and cared for. What could be more important as a parent? Hearing that reminded me why this work matters so deeply. We are not just providing services. We are creating moments of safety and dignity that can reshape how someone remembers even the hardest chapters of their life. I feel very fortunate to be part of this incredible organization that makes a direct impact on the lives of our clients.
What are some of the challenges in expanding shelter capacity, and how can donors and volunteers help?
We face real challenges with the lack of affordable spaces to use for new shelter and housing spaces, particularly on the East End of Long Island. Expanding requires flexible funding and long-term commitment. Donors can help by supporting capital initiatives and funding an endowment for our housing-focused work. Volunteers play a key role by organizing drives, supporting events, or helping with facility upgrades. Every effort, even creating awareness for the intense need for support in this space, helps create more space for safety.
How does The Retreat ensure accessibility and inclusivity for all survivors?
Domestic violence and sex trafficking are happening across all races, genders, and economic levels. It does not discriminate. Our services are low-barrier and trauma-informed. We provide support in English and Spanish, use interpreters when needed, and train our team in cultural humility. We actively serve LGBTQ+ survivors, immigrants, people with disabilities, and any others who often face added barriers. Our goal is for every survivor to feel welcomed and affirmed.
Are there any new programs or initiatives you are particularly excited about?
Yes, all of them! I am so excited about the future for The Retreat. We just received a state grant to expand services for crime survivors, which is going to help us reach more people and provide support in a deeper and more holistic way from Montauk to the Nassau County border. I am especially excited about growing our work and support for human trafficking survivors. The recent publicity around cases like the one involving Sean “Diddy” Combs has sparked long-overdue public attention to the realities of trafficking. We want survivors to know that support is available. We are also focused on expanding services for criminalized survivors, as well as developing more long-term housing options for families rebuilding after trauma.
How do you see education and community outreach evolving at The Retreat?
The Retreat partners with the community, especially the local schools. Our goal is to one day make The Retreat obsolete by using education at the earliest ages to create a culture of personal respect and an understanding of positive relationships. Prevention is a cornerstone of our mission. It is essential if we want to create a world with less violence, domestic abuse, and trafficking. We are hoping to expand our school-based education, offering training for parents and professionals, and building more digital content to reach at-risk youth and families. Digital abuse and sextortion are on the rise, and we need to educate young people and their parents about the many facets of this issue. Our vision is a community that knows how to recognize abuse, how to respond, and how to prevent violence before it starts.
What would you say to community members who want to help but do not know how
Please join us. We welcome the support of everyone who has an interest in our mission. Start with what you are able to contribute: time or funds. Every effort makes a difference. Share our hotline number. Donate if you can. Volunteer your skills or your time. Host a drive or attend one of our events. Shop at our Thrift Store in the Bridgehampton Commons, or donate your clothing to the store. Every single act of support helps a survivor feel seen, safe, and less alone. That kind of impact is immeasurable.
Together, we can have a greater impact.
To learn more or donate, visit allagainstabuse.org.
